....no time....

Dear Diary,
Im sorry and it has been a long time. Oh god how can i put this, so many things.
1. I got back with my ex on...let me see Nov. 4
2. I got a job and i had training today
3. My job is in Westminister and I live in LA.
      a.Oh so i dont drive and i have no one to take so i guess im using public transport.

            b. the ride is going to be at least 2 hrs long.
4. Im completely stressed out and dont know what i am going to do!!!

Birthday today...

Dear Diary,
Today is his birthday. He turns 21 today. Im happy but a few months back, i would of imagined it differently. I honestly thought today was going to be the best day ever of his life. Making him a king, some one who deserves all the attention in the world. I was happily imagining this day differently, now i spend the day thinking of what could of been. I txted him saying happy birthday and wished him the best, but it wasn't what i expected from him. He replied with a negative attitude. I was with my baby bro when he txted me i did my best not to cry in front of the whole school but when i got home, tears got the best of me. Later on today my friend S.C. aka Stranger told me this today "Stay up buddy and don't let nothing put you down!" and "don't stop trying." He made me feel a little better, but still life is treating me bad. So much probs and i dont have enough space left to deal with them.

So i made a question for males, and females if they wanted to express their opinion. The question was: 


If you had the girl you love but was forced to go to another state to start the career dream of your choice, what would you do?

Would you marry the girl and take her with you?
Or would you leave her behind and start fresh on your own?
The answers can be found at  http://www.experienceproject.com/confessions.php?cid=153824. Yes i have and account to experience project so if you like the website make an account and dont forget to add me as a friend!!

One month...

Dear Diary,
So i have had a lot going on. I feel life right now is extremely chaotic in the sense that i barely have time to decipher what exactly is going on. So first off, I have been in the hospital since last Monday, which was Oct. 19 and it wasnt because of my uncle. This time was my grandma. She got extremely sick. Since i am the eldest and since i am in charge of everyone i ended up with her on the hospital. I haven't been more scared in my life. My grandmother had gotten the flu, but she ended throwing up. Doctors scared the hell out of me saying that she had the swine flu and that she had to be quarantined. I nearly fainted when they told me that. I was shocked, I mean, you havent slept all night and doctors come to the ER and tell you at 3 am that she has the swine flu, it was a shocker. I was taken completely by surprise. They did a bunch of test on her and well they came up with another story that she might have pneumonia. At this point i did not know what to think. So, i had to stay sleep over at hospital for 3 nights. In the end she just had a bad case of the flu. I came home with her on Friday, but she is still weak, she can barely walk, I want to be a nurse when i grow up and now im a personalized nurse 24/7. Im exhausted, this weekend, well it was rough but i went to go see Paranormal Activity. It was scary, i havent had a movie frighten me for a while...lol....confession here....it creep me out that at night i am kinda creeped out...lol....well my grandma is well for now, still weak, but she is recovering. As for me, problems seem to be piling up.

So last night i couldnt go to sleep and well i noticed that its October 26, a month since my heart  was torn into pieces. Oh you should of seen me last night. My head ended up hurting at 3 in the morning for the crying i had been doing since 1 in the morning, it was bad, real bad, i just cried with all my heart, soul, and body into the tears. It was bad. I have a bad case of puffy and red eyes today. Worst case, i had a dream about him, it was what i want, him. I dont know what is going to happen but i do know that i want him back, to love him and treasure him. I keep asking my self why i love the one person who hurt me that most. I am supposed to walk away and bid farewell, but i cant. I guess time heals wounds right? TIME.....

Pains and Aches

Dear Diary,
I don't like being sick. Its awful. My body hurts. It hurt even worse when i cough. I feel without energy all down and out. I had fever just for one day. It was hell. My head hurt, i couldn't see straight, my eyes burned, typical fever symptoms. Now its the damn cough. My inside shudder when i'm going to have a cough attack. Its awful and extremely painful.
I came to a conclusion yesterday when i was with my mother. I started thinking of all the things that my ex did to me that hurt me and well it was a long list. So remembering that actually helped me a lot. Today i woke up with a new sense of purpose. I don't have him, but i may have some sort of resentment and anger towards him. I know its bad, and i got to clean my feelings. Dont know how im gonna do it, but i have to.

Sincerely yours,

Re-Cap!

Dear Diary,
Man, so many things have been happening lately.
1. I'm sick! with fever and cough
2. My uncle got out of the hospital yesterday. Thank God!!
3. It's raining
4. I feel everything is going well.

For the past couple of days i have been extremely busy. I barely have time for myself. I feel like everything is passing by so quick.

I really dont have much to say apart that this killer headache will claim me at any moment. I have put mind tricks saying that im not sick and it works, at least for me it does, but then again its really hard to stop coughing and make this headache go away.

I need my stuff froggie!!

Bunches of Love

Too much, way too much....

Dear Diary,

So, on Sunday which was October 4, my aunt called and asked if i wanted to go with her to a party. The party was going to be held in the salon in which i want to get married in. Its beautiful and it just made me want to have that salon even more know. So, i agreed and went and was ok. I danced, but with an older man, more correctly my uncle's boss. Since i dont dance the cumbia genre, i was bad at dancing, I was blushing all the way. He held me like a gentleman, but the waist. LOL. Oh and i drank 2 margaritas, but it wasnt enought to get me drunk...damn...lol..This whole week has been chaotic, going to the hospital to see my uncle and the doctor, family...argh its a little too much for me. Oh i forgot, my daddy found a job. Im so happy and excited for him.

Now, to the sad and miserable part of my life. I keep dreaming about him. Always talking to him, kissing him, and hugging him. And its always around the same time, Halloween and the beginning of November. I know some thing is going to happen but i want to know what it is. I know its hard for me, to get him off my dreams, but i feel safe and secure with him, i sometimes wish night can come faster so i can dream about him.

So, on Sunday, i forwarded him a message i received and so he replied, we txted and he called me. We talked for about 15 mins since he called when i was going home. That call, honestly tore down all my defenses i have been working on for the last week. I cried when i got home. It hurt so much. So we started with hi and stuff. I heard some noise in the background and i asked him wat it was. He replied that he was trying to install a program on the computer since he bought an ipod. I was like oh, oh ok...he then added that he bought one for him and my sister. In my mind i was like wat?!?! sister?, shes down here in LA, is he like going to send it to her?!! He immediately replied with "i went down to LA this weekend and i just got here to Reno couple minutes ago." Got damn, he tore me to pieces, i was speechless and i quickly  responded with, oh you didnt buy me something. That was the best i could come up wit at the moment. The conversation kept going and i did everything i could not to show i was hurt, but it was f-ing hard. When i clicked. I was shocked, i could barely keep going with my aunt. Tears were forming in my eyes, i was ready to bawl my guts out at that moment but i kept my facade and waited home. When i told my mom, i was barely able to finish the sentence and started crying.

 I went to take a shower and started thinking, how im such a fool, thinking that he still cared and loved me. I mean honestly, he broke it off, he could of come over and said hi, or try to mend stuff between us. It hurt too much... He came down here and I didnt know and if it wasnt because of the message i could of still been in my little fantasy of everything is gonna work out between us. I think he told me on purpose to hurt me even more. I know doesnt have the "duty" of coming to see me, but couldnt he come and settle things out? I kept thinking how almost a year ago, he promised me that he came back to stay forever. He promised he was never going to hurt me and he was here to be wit me until we got married. I might be a hopeless romantic, but when the guy whom you love with everything you got walks out on you, and treats you like nothing ever happend, like your a stranger and like your indifferent to him, damn it hurts. I hadnt cried for some days, but every single time i think about it, it makes me so miserable. Im done, i begged, i told him not to go, not to leave, to keep this going, i cried and he didnt care. Im done, im leaving it as is. If he wants to talk to me, he knows where to find me. Like the saying goes, "i did my part but i cant do it alone". Its not that i wont stop loving him, its just i cant keep getting hurt, its not fair, Im the one wit the broken heart and he keeps stomping on it, and now i cant keep going like this.

What can i say?

Dear Diary,

God is hard to be witout him. I saw what he posted on myspace and well it made my heart beat so quick. I was scared and nervous. I mean, its nervewrecking, but he decided it so, monkeywuv gots to take her love somewhere else. Theres nothing i can do, if he wants me back, he knows where to find me right? Some times, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. I love him and always will, its just that for right now, it thinks its best if we cool it. Give each other time to think and analyze everything that has happened and will happen.

Aside for boy issues, I spend the whole day in the hospital. My uncle got sick again, and well there was a lot of blood involved. God, i was suprised and i didnt txt him for comfort, i stuck to my decision. Yay for me?? Im side tracking again....please forgive me. My uncle is admitted to the ICU for the next three days, its gonna be hard so i have lots headed my way.

So i have decided im gonna start working. Its gonna be hard since i have never had a job before...he he.... but me need cash!!! PRONTO!!! Dont know how or where or when, but i have my mind made up and im gonna do it... Wish Me Luck!!

Bunches of Love

October already...

Dear Diary,

Can you believe it? Its October already, seems that time flies by so quick. Halloween is in exactly 30 days...scary huh? What can i say apart that i couldnt help it but i broke down last night. I was doing so perfectly, but when i was taking a shower, I missed him so much and the next thing i new i was crying. Before i fell asleep, i kept thinking about him and broke down again. Today i woke up and my eyes are puffy, they hurt, dont ask, but i had a dream last night that brought my hopes up again. Dont tell anyone but something my dreams can fortell the future. It was about him and everything was perfect, all im waiting on time. Patience is a virtue, or so they say. But, its hard trying to assimilate to being alone. Its not that i cant be with someone else its that i dont want to at this point. I just want to heal completely and then try to find someone. But for now i know im best off alone. Im being strong to move on and i know im going to keep having these episodes of sadness every once in a while. I want him, but for now i have to figure out what i want in life too. If he wants to talk to me, then he is welcome. But i dont think its my job to start talking to him. He ended it, so if he wants something from me then, he should be a man and face up to it.

Lovingly mine,

Sunday Drama

Dear Diary,
So today was a long day for me. I barely got home about an hour ago. I had a fun day, i was able to forget about my issues for a day. First i went to Laguna Niguel, an hour from my house, it was beautiful, getting there, the valley had an amazing view. Next i got home and got dressed to go to a party/wedding. It was fun, since i was able to chat with family members, they might be conceited and prideful...ha ha that my new word...but i had fun. My second cousin "AB" had guy problems and she was only 14, she really needs a guide in her life, if not then she is going to get lost. Her only role model "IO" is 19 but acts like she 15. IO has a baby of 1yr and 3 months, its a shame IO baby thinks her grandmother is her mother. Its a really confusing story. IO "husband" is 21 but he acts like a little kid with high hormones. Its funny really. I know for now im out of the dating game, so im not looking for anything. Him on the other hand, looks at me with eyes like he wants to eat me, he has a kid, but the he is oblivious to the baby. He found any excuse to be near or to see what im doing. I guess his "wife" got mad at him because after a while he was "trying" to avoid me. I told you it was complicated..ha ha.
So the hard part of this night was that my family members that knew about my ex-boyfriend, kept asking me for him. They asked how was he, i would reply he went to nevada, they would ask if he is coming down to see me, i would say yes, but i made it seem like a long distance relationship wasnt for me. They asked if he called, and i would reply he called everyday. I hate lying but there is nothing i can do for now i have to lie. The night concluded with my IO's mom telling me that she is proud of me that i am still living with my mom and that she is proud of me for not being pregnant. She said she wished she was my mom, because i make my family proud. I laughed and said that for now I not ready to settle down and its going to be a while until im ready to have kids, I need to have fun and enjoy what life is going to throw at me.
So that was my day, long and complicated, but its another day i made it through without crying...

Sad Day Today...

Dear Diary,
So this day was immenent. My boyfriend of almost four years and I broke up. What can i say apart from i made it work and gave everything i had. He didnt want a stable relationship, and he choose money over love. His future consists of money and power and he rather throw everything we had for that. Its a shame really, to make it clear i hold no grudge or hatred towards him, in a way i feel relieved and sad. Relieved in a way that i know that i wont be crying any more over his confused mind and his way of treating me. Im sad because in reality i was extremely in love with him. I can honestly say that i would of given everything up for him. His words were like a prophecy to me, waiting to be full filled. If i know he would of been at the bottom of the bridge i would of thrown myself off the cliff just to be with him. But he didnt want that. I gave him everything i had and if he didnt appreciate it then its him who i have to blame. He wasnt willing to fight for what we had and it just proves to me that maybe he never loved me, that i was just his toy all these years. I know im not the one to blame and i know i have to get back into my own two feet. I have to show myself that im beautiful and any guy would be proud and happy to have me. It doesnt mean that Im going to jump in front of the first guy i meet. It will take me time but i will come out on top. One day he will hear about me and realize what he lost and think of what could of been. We might once again meet up and  try again or i will decide to find myself denying him. I know its difficult but i will once see the sun shinning bright again. I just need time. Crying wont take me anywhere, being strong and moving on will. For now im sad.

 Tearfully,

Books only tell the reality...

Dear Diary,

Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by  Beth Fantaskey.I got this book today and finished it in a matter of hours.  I know i have read extremely great books including the Twilight Saga but i have to say this is by far the best book i have ever read. I could of changed some parts of the book and the ending, but it was amazing. I never thought a book could cause me to break down and cry, to make me relate to the characters to an emotional level. I guess since this book hits so close to home. I know that books are based on an emotional level and this one proves it.

So it came true...

Dear Diary,
I know its been 2 weeks since i last wrote but a whole bunch of things have been going on. So my boyfriend is moving to Reno this weekend. I have extreme mixed feelings about the whole situation. I currently am  happy for him and wish him the best of luck, but at the same time i am sad, pessimistic, and with a feeling that i dont want him to leave. I feel that things may go wrong, we as a couple cant work a long distance relationship and many more things. I really dont know what to think let alone understand. I feel everything just crashed into me all at the same time. He has his apartment and everything, but i feel dispriviledged because as his girlfried i have the right to have a key, sneak out of my place to go to his, or wait for him there. I guess im letting everything get to me but i feel lonely, i try not to show this to him, but damn it gets hard. He leaves this weekend to live in Reno and i know its imminent the hours im going to spend crying. Its childish considering we are going to make it through but i feel like crying my guts off...
Bunches of Love

Its been awhile...

I have had a really hectic month. So many things to worry and do. This whole month I have mostly been worried about my boyfriend. He is being relocated to Reno, Nevada and we live here in Southern California. Its only a couple hours drive, but being apart from someone who you have been with for 3 1/2 years, idk it just pains me to think of being apart from him. About an hour or so, he just found out he got the job and well he is gonna leave me...sniff sniff...don't know whats going to happen or when is this big change going to come, but i think I'm going to over work my brain if i keep thinking of what is going to happen.

I am Back!!

Dear Diary,

So for the last couple weeks, I did not expect to be in such a chaotic situation. Like i said before my aunt had her baby and well she got sick and was not able to do anything and i had to help her. Every time i tried doing something for myself i was thrown a whole bunch of different chores and things to do but now im back!!

So many things to do and well so little time. Damn its already AUGUST!! time is flying so quick!! But any how, things turned out great had a great time with the baby and all and i was happy to take care of a newborn. They are extremely difficult to take care of, all nighters, diapers, food....i mean the list goes on and on. But im here rejuvinated...now lets get back to our schedule.

Bunches of Love

Good News...

Dear Diary,
Today my little cousin was born. His name is Daniel Francisco and he was a healthy boy of 8lbs and 6oz. He was born at 2:50 this afternoon.

XOXOXOXOXO

Long Weekend...

Dear Diary,

I apologize for not writing sooner but i have had an extremely busy week and weekend. First off, i want to say im committing to losing weight!! Finally huh? Well we got a treadmill and i know can lose the weight. Secondly, i went dancing this friday night and i dont regret it for the world. On Saturday i had to work as a caterer. The job was extremely hard. I personally served food to about 400+ people on saturday all by my self. But hey the pay was worth it. Yesterday and today the boyfriend came over and well i had no time left for myself, until right now. So here i am.

Ok, maybe im wrong about this, but couple of days ago, i was on "youtube" and i saw some vids about latina chicks dancing reggaeton. If you dont know what that is, its a type of music genre. I might be wrong, but i think that a lot of latinas show how they can show off their body for perverts to watch. I think that they are degrating themselves for no reason whatsoever. Its my opinion and you might disagree. So tell me what you think.

Bunches of Love

Independence Day

Dear Diary,

Happy 4th of July, or better known as Independence Day. Hopefully you will have great time with your family and enjoy every moment of it. Today, is not such a good day for me. I think I'm getting sick and well I'm not enjoying it. Well see how the next couple of days go. Wish me luck!

XOXOXOXOXO

Time Flies...

Dear Diary,

Can you believe it? It is already July. The seventh month of the year. It seems like just yesterday it was January. Last year around this time it was drama and pain, but that's a story for some other day not now. I'm happy and don't want to ruin it with melancholy. But i will tell you soon, so dont worry. Anyways, I saw the boyfriend today. Had so much fun, but all the passion and emotion its hard to contain all the love towards each other. I love him. I dont know what i would do with out him. Hes just everything i have ever hoped for in a guy. Dont get me wrong, we have had our ups and downs. 3 years and 5 months is a long time and alot can happen during that time. I dont regret anything that happened because as the cliche goes, "Everything happens for a reason"...I believe that everything we went through made us the couple we are now, full of love, happiness, trust, loyalty and honesty.

Bunches of Love

Graduation...

Dear Diary,

So my boyfriend's graduation was yesterday. The day went by so quick. By the time i was home i was exhausted. The ceremony only lasted no more than 1 hr and a 1/2. It was fast easy and simple. I really like it and i felt as if i was the one who was about to cry. My dress i keep forgetting to post it but i will. It was amazing to be able to share with him all of life's special events and hopefully i will. After the ceremony we went to IHOP and well it was good. I didn't want him to go home but he had to.

Oh i almost forgot, Billy Mays, TV announcer guy for oxiclean and orange glow died today at the age of 50. May he rest in peace.

Bunches of Love

News....

Dear Diary,

Today is a great day. My uncle was released from the hospital. He is still weak from 6 days of being sedated but he is doing great. Apart from that only 2 more days until the graduations. I'm going to be with the in-laws and i am excited and nervous. The in-laws scare me...lol...

As you probably already heard, Michael Jackson 50, died. He died of a cardiac arrest at Los Angeles, California. Its a really sad and I wish his family all the luck in the world. May all of ours prayers be with them.

Bunches of Love

Good News...

Dear Diary,

I have good news i just found out that my uncle woke up...thank GOD.....and in no time he will be back home....if i find out something else i will tell you...

Bunches of Love

Oh i forgot...

Dear Diary,

Oh how can i forget i am now currently on Twitter, so if you want to follow me you can find me at http://twitter.com/monkeywuv

XOXOXOXOXO

Dear Diary,

I know its late but im here. I went to the mall today and bought myself some beautiful shirts about Minnie and Tinkerbell. Im so excited, only 6 more days until my boyfriends graduation...im cant believe im counting the days!!!! Im freaking out....but i bought my dress and my shoes. Its gold, I will take a picture of my dress and shoes so you can see. I need to work out at least 3x a day for the next 5 days to look stunning. I know i will look beautiful but still....lol...what else? Hmmm, oh my chicks are doing great. Chewbacka is huge & Ginger 2, Owl, Tiger, and Ochosi are doing great. I will also take a picture of them so you guys can see how big they are...lol...

Bunches of Love

Ups and Downs

Dear Diary,
As you know my uncle is really sick, I am extremely sad seeing my family cry. I personally haven't see him because i have to take care of my siblings. I'm scared because he has been sedated for more than 24 hours...almost 48 hours. Apparently he has anemia and cirrhosis. He doesn't qualify for more a liver and well i think its unfair. I have faith he is going to get better but apart from that I'm scared for the worse.

Forgetting about the bad things, i went to go see "The Proposal" it was the most funniest movie I have seen so far. Its worth it! I went to Del Amo Mall, that mall is huge. I love it though. Its like female wonderland..lol..oh and tomorrow I'm going to get my dress for my boyfriends graduation!!! I'm so excited!!!


Bunches of Love

Sad Morning...

Dear Diary,
As you already know, my uncle is sick. Now he is severely sick and he is now intensive care. The doctors are not sure if he is going to make it but I have faith he will. I will keep you posted, but i apologize if i cant write any sooner. Monkeywuv

Life is a Roller Coaster...

Dear Diary,

Life is a roller coaster. Some times life will at the tip of the roller coaster meaning everything is exciting and happy and the next moment you are falling down. I say that because for the last 2 days, Leopard has been completely sick. He can barely stand on its own, he doesnt eat, and he is just fragile. Im really worried and scared he might die but them again life will always have its ups and downs. Apart from that my uncle was admitted to the hospital for liver damage. It looks like he might need a transplant and he is currenly having a blood transfusion. Its so sad.

Bunches of Love

New Day!

Dear Diary,

Today was a long day. I got new chicks! I'm so excited because, as you guys all know Ginger..R.I.P..died because of a damn cat. Now i have 3 more. One is named Leopard, because he looks like a white leopard, Tiger, also he likes like a tiger, and Ginger 2 in memory of Ginger. So i will have a picture of them soon. As soon as i remember to take a picture. I went shopping today for clothes and just bought a new "bag" its more like a semi tote. My boyfriend, cousin, and mom where like you already have enough of bags why did you buy another one? I just needed to have one and i got it... Its green with a leafy decorations all over. Oh i almost forgot i have been working out for 3 days in a row!

When i met my boyfriend VA, i nearly melted. I had heard BM and the other peeps i kicked it with talking and always mentioning VA a lot. I always wondered who on earth could be the famous VA. When i met him i was mesmerized. He was tall, in shape, light colored eyes, has the cutest dimples, and he has light brown hair. I was a sophomore and at that time he was a senior. The first thing i said was, "So this is the famous VA huh?" He just laughed. We connected since that moment. take into consideration that i was still BM and I'm flirting with VA all the way. I mean who wouldn't? Senior with a car , money and he was hot. Who could resist? So it got to the point where i couldn't keep my feelings and i had to tell him.

The day before i told him to pick me up near the school and he did. I wanted to be alone with him inside his car but he took me to his house. I hesitated but then i went. When he kissed me i was in heaven. It was incredible, i didnt think i could feel like i did. So then i saw the time and i knew i had to go to school, i was not ready to be with him and make myself look easy. So he took me to school and when i checked my phone i had about 5 missed calls from BM. So he was smart suggesting that i should go in first and he was going to be back later. This will be all for now, i will continue it later.

XOXOXOXOXO

Story Time!

Dear Diary,
Its been a long day and I'm proud to say that today i worked out. It felt so good because i can feel my muscles worked out. It makes me feel great about myself because i know that when i go buy my dress for my boyfriend's graduation i will feel good about myself. Somehow working out makes my self esteem go up. Well i want to catch up my story of my first high school drama.

So them I confronted him (BM) and said to him that it was over. He begged to take him back and i did. Up to this day i don't know whether i took him back because i wanted to be with him, or because i felt sorry for him, or because i didn't want AL to have him. Yet, i was never actually ever committed to him. I ended up cheating on him my SP. But SP never meant anything to me.

After couple of months of fighting and arguing i was giving up in a almost 9 month relationship. Then on January 6, 2006 (my sisters b-day) i met the love of my life, my current boyfriend VA. Now that is caused another complication, and it will be another story for another day.


XOXOXOXOXO

R.I.P Ginger 6-10-09

Dear Diary,
Out of all the worse months of the month, June is the least of my favorites. Today around 4:30 pm i was taking care of the little chicks i had. I have to make sure they stretch their legs and roam around and have their fun. When i was going to put them away, and i just turned my attention from them just one second, a cat comes and eats Ginger. I screamed and my whole family came out but by then she was long gone. I cried like a baby so hard and it hurt me so much because i saw Ginger hang from the mouth of the cat lifeless... I know its the cycle of life, but when you get attached to an animal you are raising, its really hard. It hit my family hard and well it was me who felt it harder because they were mine. So no good news, just bad. I miss Ginger a lot and poor Chewbakca is looking for his friend...sniff sniff....so for today that's all....

So many things, so little time...

Dear Diary,
I'm sorry i haven't written in the last couple of days. There has been a lot of this happening at home. For one, my aunt is almost going to give birth to her baby Daniel. Second, i have been extremely caught up with my boyfriend's graduation preparations. Lastly i have 2 more graduations for next week Thursday and Friday. Wow, so much to do so little time. Well g2g...but i will be back later tonight, i pwomise.

Bunches of Love

In love...

Dear Diary,
Sowy i could not write yesterday, i was a long day and so much to do just in one day, but apart from that i kind of worked out like i promised. I dance with my little brother, and worked out with him. Im not sore but i am tired. Today i spent time with the boyfriend and everyday that goes by i fall in love with him more and more. I never can get enough of the kisses, hugs, and all the love that he provides. He's just wonderful and i never get enough of him. Im madly in love with my hubby...lol...
Bunches of Love

Its a shame

Dear Diary,
I didn't work out, its a shame and i regret to say i over slept. This sucks, i really need to be committed but for sure I'm going to do it tomorrow. I have to, i don't have another choice. Apart from that, i had a great day, saw the boyfriend who i am terribly in love with yet I'm terrified to be in a relationship for this long. We have been together for 3 yrs and 4 months. I will explain everything later, but right now i really have to go with my baby brother so until later!

Bunches of Love

Committed to Working Out

Dear Diary,
My boyfriend's graduation from college is just a couple of weeks away and really excited for him, but i feel like i need to lose weight. I'm not saying i am extremely overweight, but i am not as slender as i wish to be, and when i mean slender i mean model looking kind of body. I know i know, my body is beautiful and i believe it is, but i really need to lose the weight, so i will keep all of you posted as i lose the weight and early in the morning I'm going to have a killer workout and ill tell you all about it, so good night and I'm going to bed.

Bunches of Love

High School Drama

Dear Diary,

High school is pure drama. Everyone knows it, and this goes for slackers and honor students. Every where you go, drama, drama and more drama. First off, i hope you all enjoy this but at this point i just can look back and just laugh about all this, but when i was happening i was nearly pulling my hair out from all the drama. It all started when i met my ex-boyfriend BM (for privacy issues). So BM was not the hottest guy out there and he was on the chunky side but what attracted me to him was his prankster attitude. When we first started "dating" some other girl AL was also trying to be with him. It was a mess by trying to outshine the other. In the end i won...ha ha....lol....and our "anniversary" was April 1st, funny huh? Well guys will be guys and he ended cheating on me about 2 months in the relationship. This is where all the drama begins. My best friend at that time CL knew about this and she didn't tell me, her excuse was that it was none of her business, what a great friend she was huh? When i confronted BM he denied everything to me he claimed that he was loyal, yet i heard him tell AL that i had just found out about their relationship. This is where I'm gonna stop for tonight wait for tomorrow to tell you more.
XOXOXOXOXO

So like i promised here are my chicks....arent they cute? Please excuse the date, my camera seems to be going haywire, but here they are. I mean they seem so small but pretty soon they will be huge. No worries i will keep you posted on how they are doing and if everything is ok...

Bunches of Love

OMG!!

Dear Diary,

You wont believe it but today i saw for the first time the official New Moon Trailer. Im so excited. The movie is set to be released on November 20, 2009. I am huge Twilight Saga Fan. I was so excited when Summit Entertainment annouced that they were going to do Twilight. I just cant wait until it comes out, its going to be good. Im not going to spoil it for people that havent read twilight, but trust me, I cried when i read the book, so it wont be a suprise to me when i cry in the theaters.

My little chicks

Dear Diary,
I recently bought baby chicks, i think i got them on Tuesday, but today my dad and i started making a house for them. I will take a pic it soon and i will show it to you guys. They are so cute. One chick is named ginger and the other one is named "chewbaca" (lol i don't think i spelled it right). So today i did nothing interesting just hung out with the boyfriend and we had fun. We wanted to watch night at the museum but the theaters were packed so we just decided to go home. i was disappointed because i really wanted to watch it. I will watch it soon so no need to worry. has anyone watched it? is it good?

Today

Have you ever been bored, extremely bored and had nothing to do and started chatting at a random chat site and were extremely surprised of what people talk about? Yeah, that happened to me today...it was weird but hey i survived...lol...So like i was saying when i started out middle school it was crazy, new classes, new people, and tons of homework, i was in honors and had to deal with a little more. Anyways my first "boyfriend" was at the age of 13 and so was my first kiss...if i could change that kiss i would...i know that first kisses are supposed to be memorable but trust me this one gave me nightmares. It was not like i expected it to be. I thought i was going to be gobbled down alive. Its sad but true. So middle school was 5 bfs (lol) in one year which was 8th grade...but i mean i was young so the "relationships" ranged from between 2 weeks to 3 months. Oh well i was young...

Get To Know Me

* . . Basic . . *
Name: monkeywuv
Birthdate: January 13, 1990
Current Location: Los Angeles, CA
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Reddish/Brownish

* . . What's Your . . *
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
Body Type: Normal
Favorite Food: ooh thats hard...
Favorite Drink: water
Favorite Animal: snake, wolf, monkey, froggies
Best Physical Feature: IDK
Fears: i hate worms

* . . Have you ever . . *
Drank: yes...lol..
Smoked: nope..
Shoplifted: not that crazy....yet...lol
Skinny Dipped: yeah
Been Dumped:sniff sniff...yes
Had A Boyfriend/Girlfriend: I currently have the love of my life...

* . . Looking In For A Guy. . *
Fav Eye Color: Blue/Green
Fav Hair Color: Dont matter
Short or Long Hair: short hair
Looks or Personality: a little of both...
Love or Money: love but it would hurt if they had some money
Hot or Cute: dont matter as long as i like them
Muscular or Really Skinny: not too muscular and not too skinny

Quick Facts

Dear Diary,

I am currently 19 yrs old, my fav. color is green, not the dark green, but the aqua, light green kinda green...lol...i also like pink, black....hmmm i think that it. My favorite fruit has to be watermelon. I just cant get enough of it. I could eat it for weeks maybe years and i would not get tired of it. Anyways, i am the oldest of 4, sucks to be me huh? lol, but it has its benefits. I am currently loving life to the fullest but before i got here i was miserable, it was the dark epoch for me. I will explain don't worry. So I grew up near downtown Los Angeles (LA), California (CA). Where i grew up it was kind of chaotic. It wasn't so much the violence because you rarely saw that, but it was the loneliness of the place. Now if you go to Downtown LA i wish you good luck...lol....anyways, my childhood was alright i cant complain. I was an angel and innocent... Until i got to middle school is when i changed.

Hello!

Hey everyone, I guess why your asking why I created a blog or "diary" right? Well i guess it might be that someone is going through the same stuff or worse and i just wanna say things that relate to other people. This is my first post so i am just going to keep it brief, and say welcome and hopefully you guys enjoy this. If you guys have any questions or just feel like you need to talk, you are welcome, i am your friend and it is easier to tell a stranger your problems instead of people you know, so again welcome! oh and enjoy!