Tuesday, May 18, 2010

What do i do?

Dear Diary,
I never thought that i was going to be in this situation again. I am getting a grip on my ex, but I can easily cry if someone brings up the subject or they ask me about him. Just thinking that in less than two weeks i would of been married hurts. Hurts to know that right now i should of been excited about the wedding, I should of been packing my stuff, counting the days, having sleepless nights. Now i cant have any of that and it hurts. It actually hurts so much more to know "my ex-fiancee", he hasn't even tried to contact me in anyway. Its like i never existed, nonetheless, never meant anything to him.
Yet through all this mess, i have met a new guy online. Yes, it sounds crazy but i actually like his personality, im getting to met his world inside instead of out. I have seen pictures, doesnt really call my attention but i come to enjoy our conversation. He is in the navy and he lives in San Diego, which is about 2 hrs from LA. Some how our conversation led up to him telling me that he can come up and actually meet each other physically and im debating big time. I have never done this and well i feel he came to blunt about the whole situation. I really dont know what to do, my mom for one tells me to go for and get to meet him, since it wont imply anything serious. We can have fun just being friends, but im still on the "if" side. Im so confused its frustrating on what to do. Im going to get help

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