Is it true that time heals wounds? or does time makes the wounds deeper? Will the love that i feel for you die out and scatter the ashes as time goes by? or will they flourish when i see you? Will these memories fade like a black and white movie screen and then die out? Or will they always stay with me locked up inside my head where no one can go in? Will time and destiny bring me someone that can make me forget you, your touch, your kisses, your warmth? Or will it bring you back into my life? Will i ever be able to talk to other guys and finally be able not to pretend its you? Or when ever i close my eyes, will i imagine its you who's kissing me, who's touching me, and hugging me? Will i finally be able to move one, and love the person who is with me? Or will i always be comparing you to them, thinking you are the standard to beat? Will i ever stop asking myself why? why did this happen? Or will i finally acknowledge that it was for the best?
Although i keep asking myself these questions, i know the answer and i don't like them because im scared of leaving that love behind, forgetting what we once were. I know things happen for a reason, but im scared to admit that your not mine, scared to lose you, that one person who i honestly fell in love with, and im definitely scared of seeing you with some one else living the life we dreamed about, with the kids we planned for. Sometimes the fact that you were forced to be strong was enough to actually turn you into what you had to be. STRONG. In the end, as much as i hate to acknowledge it, I know i will be strong to over come these feelings, I will be strong to see you and not cry because in the end its what God's will that will prevail. If its meant to be then its going to be Forever Eternal, but if not, then i honestly do wish you the best, even if it kills me. I know that our paths will cross someday, whether we like it or not, life always has its twists and turns, but i know that if they do, this time i wont have anything to do with it since i wont go looking for you, All i have to say is Karma always comes back even when you dont expect it and when it hits you will remember what we had and wish it was still there/ Im done trying to make things work, if you want me you will come looking for me. And when we do meet again, I might honestly have the strength to look the other way and bite my tongue and bite back tears when i say "it was nice seeing you" and walk away. But i want to keep believing that your my Forever Eternal, i want to believe that our future is still there, but if not then God will give bring to me the guy that actually deserves me and the love u neglect and threw away will be his.
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