Late....

Sometimes I think about
Everything that we've been through
And I pray that you would just open your eyes
I love you I need you
So please don't throw our love away
It must have been the first kiss
You told me that nobody else in the world made you feel this
I felt the same way too but nothing stays the same
I'm sorry for the tears I'm sorry for the pain.
You were the one that always made things right
I promise you this though you got a friend for life
Maybe one day we can try it again
And maybe things can be a little different
So lets jus kiss and say goodbye
Cuz I really can't stand the pain of seeing you cry
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
All that's mine is yours that's what I said
Treat you with love and respect in everyway
You wanted I gave you need me I was there
Now you treat me like if I'm not here
I love you and I need you don't want to let go
If you want somebody else please let me know
Can't take it no more I feel I'm dying inside
Is this the price I pay for handing you my life?
I know I'm not perfect but I truly care
So when you wake up one morning and I'm not there
Just remember I loved you it will never be the same
Gave you everything and you threw it all away
I gave you my good and my bad
My heart and my soul,
My trust my money my time,
What more could you ask from me
Even when times were hard
I held out my arms and held you
Even accepted you though whatever weather
But now I'm feelin we're at the end of the road
Whatever we had now I got to let go
Nights like this I wish raindrops would fall
To cover my tears
Wishing I could replace all those wasted years
Of loving someone who couldn't love me back
And now again I got to start from scratch
But I know I've given you my everything

These words are part of a song called "Notice Me" by NB Ridaz. Its dedicated to him, funny how all of this is true, but hey what can i do. I feel as if time is passing by so quickly and at the same time i feel that slowly time is healing the wound but i know everything will crash if i were to hear his voice or see him in person. Today i saw a couple living together, Im not sure if they were married or just living together, but it made me wonder if i made the right decision. Did i honestly make the right decision when i decided that i was not going to go live with him in Reno? This question bring tears to my eyes, because if i had decided to go with him, i would not be feeling this pain inside my heart. But deep down in my heart i feel as if i did the right thing. I could not go live with him without being married. I could not leave my parents just to go with him about 500 miles and not know if it would work out. It def'initely hurts but i truely believe that things happen for a reason. Regardless of why God wanted to me to go through this path but i know he wouldnt give me something he knew i couldnt handle, which gives me peace. Like everyone tells me, "if he was yours, he will come back and if he wasnt then he was never yours." As hard as it may be, i have to keep moving forward and what ever my destiny is, i will accept it.